


Belong

by Piper_Halliwell1979



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Afterlife Discussion, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Holding Hands, Love Confessions, M/M, Mortality, No Smut, Season/Series 13, Sharing a Bed, Soulmates, Supportive Sam Winchester, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-16 01:59:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13626171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piper_Halliwell1979/pseuds/Piper_Halliwell1979
Summary: Dean and Castiel take a moment on a park bench to have a deep discussion of mortality and where they'll spend the afterlife.





	Belong

Castiel sat down beside Dean on the park bench then leaned forward to rest his elbows on his legs. “Many years ago, we sat like this and I confessed my doubts to you.”

 

“I remember, Cas,” Dean replied, still looking forward. “You havin’ doubts again?”

 

Castiel sighed. “I am.”

 

“What about?” Dean wasn’t sure he really wanted to hear the answer.

 

“Myself. Am I an angel or a man? Or both? Even before my time as human, I felt things that angels weren’t supposed to. Envy, greed, pride, lust...love and hate.” He paused. “Depression. Do these emotions make me a lesser angel or a better man?”

 

Dean thought it over. “Makes you...you. You never were like the others. And they can suck it for looking down on you. You  _ belong _ , Cas. Just not with them. You’re a Winchester. You always got a place in this world.”

 

Cas nodded. “I’ve been thinking a lot about mortality, mine in particular.”

 

“Dyin’ll do that to you.”

 

“It isn’t death I fear, Dean. It’s where I’ll go when it’s over. The Empty...it’s just that. Heaven doesn’t want me. Purgatory doesn’t want me. Hell doesn’t want me. So am I this condemned... _ man _ ?

 

“Where do you wanna be, Cas?” Dean asked softly. 

 

“With you.”

 

Dean stiffened up a bit. It was the first time Cas acted like he wanted to truly stay. “Don’t know where I’m going, either. Used to think it was Heaven, but I’ve seen behind the curtain. It’s supposed to be the good stuff but it’s all smoke and mirrors. Mom was with her husband and babies and reality sucker-punched her.”

 

Cas looked over to Dean but he was still forcing his focus on passersby in the park. “I have a soul. At least a spark of one. When I fell I was graceless but not soulless. If I were to willingly give it up...there’s a chance I could have my own heaven.” Cas shook his head. “But you would be ‘smoke and mirrors’ as you said.”

 

“I wouldn’t be if we were soulmates,” Dean said without thinking.

 

“Our bond?”

 

Dean finally turned to him. “That spark of a soul...it’s from me, isn’t it? When you pulled me outta Hell. I know you superglued me back together with your grace. So yeah, our bond. Doesn’t that kinda make us soulmates?”

 

Cas smiled. “In a way. But I would expect you to want to share your eternity with Sam. It’s just foolish,  _ selfish _ of me to want anything else.”

 

“Cas...I want Sam to find somebody. I want him to grow old and have grandkids. I want him to share his heaven with  _ that _ person. I used to think it was only me and him. But that’s just selfish on my part.”

 

“What if you find someone?” There was a slight waver in Cas’ voice.

 

“I did.  _ You _ . Who else is gonna get the Empty to spit him out for the first time ever, then call me to come take him home? Who gives up an entire army for for one guy? Who takes on crazy town for my kid brother? Who never gave up on me when I had the Mark? If that doesn’t say you love a guy, I don’t know what does.”

 

“I do love you, Dean. Perhaps more than you’d like.”

 

Dean took his hand from his coat pocket and placed it on top of Cas’. “I know, Cas. For a long time I convinced myself that you couldn’t. Then that you shouldn’t. Now...I  _ lost _ you. I begged and screamed and prayed. All I could think about was that I never told you. You never knew. Then you’re back and before I even got the chance you had to go looking for Jack. I mean, he’s your kid. He’s gotta come first. It’s been one damn thing after another.”

 

“Dean…”

 

“No, let me say this. In that other world...I’m thinking about staying alive and getting back and it’s not just for me or Sam. I didn’t want to leave you behind, make you go through what I went through. I had to come home so I wouldn’t hurt you. I’m done hurting you, Cas. I was gonna wait till we got home to hash all this out but...I feel the same way about you.”

 

Castiel opened his mouth to speak but he had no words. He never expected Dean to return his feelings. He looked down at the hand covering his and turned his palm up to lace their fingers together. Dean smiled and squeezed.

 

“That easy, huh?”

 

“I suppose it is. We really should work on our communication skills,” Cas said in jest.

 

“Yeah, moving forward. I think...I think we needed all the time it took to get here.”

 

“I suppose we did. Jack will be ecstatic when he gets back. He expressed an interest in having you as another father to him. I know how you felt about him at first but the way he spoke of you, he respected you for always being honest with him. He looks up to you. Sam as well but he sees him as more of an uncle.”

 

“You guys talking about me?” Sam’s formidable height cast a long shadow over them. He glanced down at the joined hands of his brother and their best friend. “That new?”

 

Dean didn’t jerk his hand away like Cas expected him too. He wasn’t a general fan of public displays of affection. “Oh this?” Dean made a show of lifting their hands. “Turns out me and Cas were on the same page about some things.”

 

“Nice. I keep hitting dead ends. You guys wanna grab something to eat and head back to the hotel?”

 

“I could use some grub. Cas?” Dean looked to his new romantic partner.

 

“Some coffee would be nice.” He let Dean pull him up by his hand and strolled beside him to the lot where they’d parked the Impala. Dean kept grinning at him and Sam nudged his shoulder a couple times. 

 

Castiel sat in the middle of the backseat as per his usual. He sat beside Dean in the booth at the diner. Again, nothing unusual. He and Dean used Dean’s bed to spread out the files they had involving their case and Sam hunched over the laptop at the table in the suite. Everything had changed and yet nothing really changed. Until the wee hours and it was time for the brothers to turn in. He went to the fold out sofa so he could at least be quiet for them to rest.

 

“Cas? You coming to bed?” Dean pulled back the blanket. He’d changed from his jeans to sweats. “Got some stuff in my bag if you wanna get comfortable.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Sam turned off the lamp on his side. “I hear more than a goodnight kiss I’m dumping cold water on the bed.” He turned away from them.

 

Cas shook his head and accepted the clothes Dean laid out for him. He took a moment in the small bathroom to change and slid in bed beside Dean. They were side by side and on their backs until Dean rolled over to him. “Goodnight, Cas.” He gave him a quick peck on the cheek and returned to his back. A few minutes later he reached across the blanket for Cas’ hand and settled into slumber. Cas closed his eyes and smiled. He was exactly where he belonged.


End file.
